just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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