You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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