well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
