her vagine was all disorganized.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
