Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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