If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
