in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
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Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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