i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
