I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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