I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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