omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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