The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
