It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
