It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
