thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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