I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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