You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
its liver damage thursday
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
