a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
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As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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