Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
