I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
