The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
