I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize