I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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