i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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