New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
