Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
