who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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