and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
