trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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