It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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