Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
