that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
