Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
