First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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