HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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