Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just pee around me
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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