Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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