dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
