so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize