I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
