I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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