There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
