You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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