you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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