I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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