bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
