you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
