Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
