i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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