drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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