We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
