I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
