I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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