I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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