in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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