Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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