btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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