there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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