New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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